Funny Birthday Quotes to Add Laughter to the Celebration

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By:
Keisha Wallace

Photo by alanking on Unsplash

Laugh your way into another year with these humorous takes on the joy and perils of aging. Celebrate with a smile and a chuckle with these funny birthday quotes.
11 min read

Age is just a number, and in your case, it's a really high one.

 

Birthdays are like hairballs – the more you have, the more you want to gag.

 

Happy Birthday! May your Facebook wall be filled with messages from people you never talk to.

 

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

 

On your birthday, remember: don’t drink and tattoo.

 

For your birthday, I was going to get you a case of anti-aging cream, but then I realized it would be like trying to baptize a cat.

 

Happy Birthday! You're one step closer to velcro shoes.

 

Another year older, but still looking sharp! Just don’t try to sharpen your teeth with your birthday cake.

 

Happy Birthday! Let's celebrate the anniversary of your clever escape from the womb.

 

As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point in the wrong direction. Happy Birthday!

 

Don’t worry about your age, alcohol will make it all blurry anyway. Happy B-Day!

 

You know you’re getting old when your birthday candles start to cost more than your cake. Happy Birthday!

 

Don't think of it as getting older, think of it as becoming a classic. Happy Birthday!

 

Let's toast to your birthday and the fact that you're not extinct yet!

 

Age only matters if you're a cheese or a wine. On your birthday, you're definitely the life of the party!

 

Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake. And who are we to argue with nature?

 

Happy Birthday! You've now reached an age where "happy hour" is a nap.

 

They say age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. Happy Birthday!

 

On your birthday, throw a party with the energy of someone half your age! Which would still be pretty old.

 

With age comes new skills: you can laugh, cough, sneeze, and pee all at the same time! Cheers to your birthday!

 

It's your birthday, the perfect time to reflect on your life... and realize your wrinkles have more stories than you.

 

Today is your birthday, the only day you can get away with being obnoxious and still be forgiven. Use it wisely!

 

May your birthday be filled with joy, laughter, and maybe a little bit of anti-wrinkle cream.

 

The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet. Happy ongoing celebrations!

 

A birthday is just another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip!

 

Happy Birthday! It’s time to accept the fact that those gray hairs and laughter lines are just part of your charm now.

 

Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused, especially on their birthday.

 

If birthdays were wishes, yours would all come true since you'd wish for a nap and cake, too.

 

Pro tip: If you lie about your age, do it in the opposite direction: everyone will think you look fantastic for your age!

 

May your birthday cake be moist, and may no one use that word to describe it.

 

Birthdays are like Boomerangs. The more you throw them out, the more they come back to hit you in the face with another number.

 

They say with age comes wisdom. At your age, you must be the wisest person alive!

 

On your birthday, let's have a moment of silence for the endangered species that is your youth.

 

You're not over the hill. You're just on the crest of a mountain of wisdom, about to roll down into the valley of 'I need a nap'.

 

Cheers to a day as special as you are – legendary, epic, and mythological. Happy Birthday!

 

Happy Birthday! If anyone calls you old, hit them with your cane and throw your teeth at them!

 

Happy Birthday! Remember, the more birthdays you have, the longer you live!

 

At your age, “getting lucky” means finding your car in the parking lot. Just kidding, have a great birthday!

 

Earth has orbited the sun one more time since your last birthday. I guess that means you're not a year older… just a year better!

 

Some say the glass is half empty, others say the glass is half full. On your birthday, say "Who cares? There’s room for vodka!"

 

You should be proud of your age. This year you are wiser, smarter and very close to reaping the benefits of senior discounts at restaurants.

 

On your birthday, remember: you can't hide from your age, but you can hide the wine.

 

You've finally reached the wonder years...Wonder where your car is parked? Wonder where your glasses are? Wonder what day it is?

 

Your birthday is like a festival that falls once a year. The bad news? It also comes with a cleanup time the morning after.

 

Don’t think of it as a belated birthday wish. Think of it as an incredibly early one for next year. Happy Belated Birthday!

 

Happy Birthday! It's the perfect time to start lying about your age... if you haven't started already!

 

At your age, you've seen it all, done it all, heard it all...you just can't remember it all. Happy Birthday!

 

Remember, the first 50 years of childhood are always the hardest. Happy Birthday!

 

If you squint a little, your birthday cake looks like a massive fire on a tiny island...Survivor will be jealous! Happy Birthday!

 

Roses are red, violets are blue, on your birthday, remember – you are overdue!

 

Just like cheese, you only get better with age. Or was it smellier? Anyways, happy birthday!

 

A wise man once said, "Forget about your past, you cannot change it". I’d like to add: "Forget about your present, I didn’t get you one".

 

Do not regret growing older. It’s a privilege denied to many, and besides, now you’re old enough to do all the things you pretended to dislike as a teenager.

 

Happy Birthday! Enjoy your day before the inevitable zombie apocalypse!

 

Keep smiling – it makes people wonder what you’ve been up to. Here's to many more years of mystery!

 

Old enough to know better, but still young enough to get away with it. Happy Birthday!

 

Remember that growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional. Let's party!

 

It's your birthday – time to color outside of the lines, take risks and eat the whole cake. Here's to a sprinkle-filled year ahead.

 

May your birthday be more fun and less awkward than a public restroom conversation.

 

Happy Birthday! Don’t let a 27-year-old Olympic athlete make you feel like less of an accomplishment.

 

You’re so special, your birthday should be a national holiday. I’d even volunteer to take a day off work in your honor. Happy Birthday!

 

Like a fine wine, you get better with age... or rather, we feel better about our age with lots of wine. Cheers to your birthday!

 

Happy Birthday! They say wisdom comes with age – today, you have to be the wisest person I know!

 

Happy cake-eating day, my friend! Oops, I mean… happy birthday!

 

On your birthday, I just want to say: I hope you can see how special you are to me. Happy birthday, my dear friend!

 

If you keep getting this fabulous every year, you’re going to start giving the sun a complex. Shine on you crazy diamond!

 

Happy birthday! May your Facebook be filled with messages from people you never talk to.

 

Handcrafted by time, aged to perfection. Happy Birthday!

 

Age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying you. Keep giving, Happy Birthday!

 

It’s your birthday! Time to dust off your ambitions and start blowing the dust off your dreams!

 

Your birthday is the perfect excuse to do something stupid, something you’ll regret, something fun. In other words, be yourself!

 

Happy Birthday! The emergency department is on speed dial just in case you have an unexpected age-related melt down.

 

Another year, another new place the candles could drip on.

 

Smile! It’s your birthday. You can't do anything about the inexorable march of time, but you sure can smile while it's happening.

 

You’re not aging, you’re just a little closer to being featured on an antique roadshow. Happy Birthday!

 

Congratulations on being born a really long time ago.

 

Don’t treat your birthday like it's a deadline. Treat it like it's a lifeline. Keep living it up!

 

Let's break out the cake, ice cream, and remember – don’t bother counting candles because we'll need a calculator anyway! Happy Birthday!

 

May your birthday this year be serious #Goals for your enemies. Party like it’s a royal scandal!

 

Birthdays are like chocolate, it’s best not to keep count of how many you've had and just enjoy them instead. Have a sweet birthday!

 

Today’s the one day a year we can tell you to 'go take a hike' and it won’t be because you’re too old to hang. Enjoy your birthday adventure!

 

You know you’re getting old when the little old gray-haired lady you helped across the street is your wife. Do not worry, though; you’re still young at heart!

 

If you thought you were cool at 21, you're now a cooler, older vintage! Happy Birthday!

 

Don’t let aging get you down. It’s too hard to get back up again! Happy Birthday!

 

On your birthday, count your blessings, not your wrinkles. But if you do count wrinkles, it’s still a pretty impressive number. Congratulations!

 

Let's raise a glass to you, my friend! With age comes skills, like sleeping on the couch without spilling your wine. Cheers to another year of greatness!

 

Today is your birthday! It’s an excellent excuse for fancy celebratory drinks. And by fancy, I mean complicated coffee orders. Enjoy!

 

Happy Birthday! Let's celebrate the first time you cried naked in someone else’s bed...well, excluding last weekend.

 

Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Happy Birthday, you wise idiot!

 

It’s your birthday. The good news is you’re only as old as you remember. So, if you forget everything, problem solved!

 

Legend has it that with every birthday, you gain wisdom and stupidity in equal measure. Let's hope today tips the scales to wisdom.

 

Happy Birthday! I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk, I’d sniff you before pouring you into my cereal.

 

On your birthday, just remember: it’s not about the years in your life, but the life in your years… or when all else fails, the amount of wine in your glass!

 

Some people don't like to celebrate their birthday because they don't want to get older. But not you. You're like, 'bring it on, Mother Nature, I'm ready for the senior discount!'.

 

Happy Birthday! May you live long enough for us to live together and pretend we're the Golden Girls.

 

Today is the one day out of the year when you are officially permitted to ask for things without being called demanding. Demand away! Happy Birthday!

 

May your birthday give you the best memories till the next one, may you have success waiting ahead.

 

It's your birthday! Good news is you're older and wiser. Bad news? That's it. That's the news. Happy Birthday!

 

Happy Birthday! If we were zombies, I'd find you the juiciest brain.

 

May life give you as many problems as age has given you wrinkles. So basically, not many at all. Happy Birthday!

 

Remember, it's not about how high you climb, but how high you bounce back when life bottoms out. Happy Birthday!

 

It’s your birthday, and it’s amazing how easy and enjoyable it is to be with you each day. Even when you’re old.

 

Happy Birthday! It's time to give back all the love you've received throughout the year at a discounted senior rate.

 

Forget the past, it's gone. Forget the present, I didn't get you one. But remember that age is just a number, especially in a darkly lit room.

 

Birthday Tip: They say the more you have, the longer you live. This might not apply to your birthday cake though, enjoy!

 

PUBLISHED: Feb 22, 2024
Written By
Keisha Wallace
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