Funny Birthday Poems

Martin Dejnicki
Here's a few funny birthday poems that are meant to make to make us all laugh.
6 min read
Table of contents
Funny Birthday Card Poem
A Funny Birthday Poem for a Friend
Funny Birthday Poem for Women
Funny Birthday Poem for Men

There's no need to send someone birthday wishes with the same old wording. The goal behind these verses is to not sound boring or generic.

Some are short, while others are a bit longer.

They all rhyme, and feel free to share them with your friends, mom, dad, sister, brother, husband, wife or anyone else in your life.

The first one is meant to be shared with someone who has a good sense of humor.

I'm thinking of sharing it with my uncle Peter. He's a pretty funny guy, and he knows how to take a joke.

Actually, I think the second one is probably my favorite from this section. It talks about being cheap with regards to the birthday card and the gift.

Happy Birthday

Happy birthday,

where is your cane?

You think you're still young,

but it's all in your brain.

There's nothing glamorous,

about another old year.

Growing wrinkly and old,

you should definitely fear.

Your cake's filled candles,

But I can't count that high.

Your youth is behind you,

expect a tearful goodbye?

I'm not exactly saying,

that you're getting old.

But your ancient possessions,

are worth more than gold.

The previous four verses,

you should try to forget.

Sudden memory loss,

is certainly a threat.

Happy birthday,

you don't need a cane.

You're still fairly young,

now go play in the rain.

By Martin Dejnicki

One time I shared this poem with a close friend of mine and as a prank bought him one of these Clinique eye creams. We all got a really laugh out of it.

Funny Birthday Card Poem

Personally, I really enjoy including these funny birthday poems inside those silly birthday greeting cards. There are a lot of funny greeting cards out there, and there's nothing wrong with adding a little bit more humor to them.

However, if you just want to focus the attention on the poem itself, then you may just pick up one of those blank cards. It's up to you.

Cheap Birthday

This birthday card,

I just wanted to share.

Got it on sale,

but I won't tell you where.

I hope you're not thinking,

that I'm extra cheap.

I'm way beyond that,

this card you can't keep.

You have 15 more seconds,

so you better read fast.

This birthday card,

has been used in the past.

Birthday cards and gifts,

I try my best to reuse.

How about I lend you,

my stinky old shoes?

I promise I'll even,

throw in the socks.

When you're all done,

place back in the box.

Happy Birthday,

I'm not being cheap.

I'm pulling your chain,

it's all yours to keep.

By Martin Dejnicki

So what did you think of that one? If it made you laugh, it will probably make the person you share it with laugh as well.

I think it would be really funny if you actually added this poem to a used birthday greeting card. It'd go along perfectly with the poem.

A Funny Birthday Poem for a Friend

Birthday wishes

A few birthday wishes,

I'm hoping to see,

missplaced your name,

but I know you're my friend.

Since it's your birthday,

we'll sing that old song,

count every year,

and make sure it's long.

Aging is something,

you shouldn't hurry.

But if you see signs,

try not to worry.

It's not about with whom,

your day that you share.

But the quality of gifts,

at the end you declare.

I take all that back,

an awfully mean joke.

But never invite,

if you know they are broke.

I'm trying to recall,

your age and your name.

Today is your birthday,

and I hope it's not lame.

By Martin Dejnicki

You want to give this poem to a friend or a family member. It's your choice. The second stanza reminds me of how we always count the years when singing, "Happy Birthday". Even if the person is really old, we manage to patiently count year by year. I'm just speaking for myself, because not everyone in our family is patient when we're counting the years.

The next two funny birthday poems were written for women and men respectively.

Funny Birthday Poem for Women

This birthday poem may be shared with all the wonderful women out there (oh, and it's also quite funny). Enjoy!

Birthday Dream

Girl, it's your birthday,

so what is the plan?

Please tell me the truth,

when the shopping began.

Let's not talk about,

wrinkles nor age.

All of your senses,

we must actively engage.

Mouth-watering chocolate,

truffles you'll taste.

It's a heavenly sensation,

that must be embraced.

Sit back and relax,

as she works on your nails.

A soothing massage,

relaxation entails.

Music is sweet,

select your top sound.

Today is your birthday,

and you have been crowned.

Then all of a sudden,

you wake from your dream.

There's fries in your hair,

and you hear the kids scream.

By Martin Dejnicki

You may need to change the last stanza up a little bit if the birthday girl doesn't have kids. Otherwise, it should work just fine.

Funny Birthday Poem for Men

The last funny birthday poem was written with men in mind. Since I'm a guy myself, this one came fairly naturally to me. I was essentially trying to make myself laugh while writing it. I hope it worked.

Men's View

Most men barely remember,

the exact day of their birth.

They care more about their cars,

and how much they're worth.

That birthday attention,

there's no need to draw.

Last minute plans,

is their ritual and law.

Let's move right along,

and talk about beer.

This simple fluid,

for men is quite dear.

When thinking of gifts,

make sure they'll use.

Never buy shirts,

or weird looking shoes.

Men usually forget,

to formally invite.

Sometimes they're not,

exactly polite.

It all comes down,

to those random cheers.

A few real friends,

and plenty of beers.

By Martin Dejnicki

Have fun sharing these funny birthday poems, and hope you have fun at the party!

PUBLISHED: Oct 04, 2023
Written By
Martin Dejnicki
I enjoy writing simple rhyming poetry that people can easily share with their loved ones. I live in Toronto with my loving wife and two curious, adventure-seeking daughters.
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