Funny Christmas Poems

Martin Dejnicki
This funny Christmas poem talks about the frustrations that go along with Christmas shopping at our local malls. Not only is it nearly impossible to find any parking, but it’s often just as difficult to find that exact toy or toys.
4 min read

Realm of the Toys

It all begins,

when you try to find parking.

There’s no courtesy,

just competition and barking.

You dash for the entrance,

to the land of the crowded.

With your masterful plan,

your mind is just shrouded.

You must focus your energy,

and all of your powers,

Time is escaping,

there’s only six hours.

Chaos erupts,

there’s just so much noise,

You must locate,

The Realm of the Toys.

A fight for plastic,

among both the young and the old,

Those who win,

are those who can hold.

Pushing and reaching,

that’s nothing new.

A disappointed child,

none wish to view.

One figurine,

sitting unsold,

You dive for it,

it’s more precious than gold.

A collision of parents,

reaches the ground,

In your cradled arms,

the toy rests and is found.

Anger and disappointment,

showcased by the losers,

They quickly turn,

into vicious accusers.

With great effort,

you attempt a quick dash,

No time for bank cards,

you throw down the cash.

They turn into zombies,

as you sprint for the doors,

It’s not safe to search,

anymore stores.

Back in the parking lot,

you jump on your horse,

This awful place,

you wish to divorce.

On your way back home,

you smile with joy.

But then suddenly you realize,

you’re missing the toy.

You begin to sweat,

and frantically scream.

You wake up at night,

it was all just a dream.

by Martin Dejnicki

We all know that many of the more popular toys are often sold out. Parents become frustrated and end up searching every toy store in the city. If they are unsuccessful, they also try the online e-commerce stores like Amazon. The last resort is often Ebay where bidding wars erupt and parents end up paying much more than the retail price.

Personally, I don’t think it’s a good idea to promise our children specific toys for Christmas. I just think we’re spoiling them a bit too much with these promises. Instead, we need to teach them to be grateful for receiving any toy. We also need to teach them that Christmas is about spending time with family and friends.

Well, I hope the above funny Christmas poem makes you laugh, and helps you put things into perspective. Try not to stress too much during your Christmas shopping adventures, and share the verse with family and friends.

Santa Got Stuck

They woke up excited,

on Christmas Day.

Both adults and kids,

were ready to play.

Jumped out of bed,

and scrambled downstairs.

They looked like a bunch,

of hungry old bears.

Suddenly they stopped,

and just stared in shock.

Santa was snoring,

and it was six O’clock.

Cookie crumbs and milk,

were stuck in his beard.

The kids gave him a hug,

and joyfully cheered.

Santa realized,

he lost track of time.

He said his goodbyes,

and started to climb.

But then in their chimney,

he really got stuck.

It seemed like Santa,

was short on his luck.

The kids pulled, then pushed,

both of his feet.

But Santa knew,

he had too much to eat.

For the next few months,

in their chimney he chilled.

They exchanged stories,

the kids were just thrilled.

Christmas songs every evening,

they would joyously sing.

Santa was stuck,

until the first day of spring.

They woke up that morning,

and thought he was gone.

Looked out the window,

and saw Santa mowing their lawn.

He thanked the whole family,

as he smiled and waved goodbye.

He was really glad that his reindeer,

still remembered how to fly.

by Martin Dejnicki

PUBLISHED: Oct 09, 2023
Written By
Martin Dejnicki
I enjoy writing simple rhyming poetry that people can easily share with their loved ones. I live in Toronto with my loving wife and two curious, adventure-seeking daughters.
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