Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion?
There was nothing left but de-brie.
Why did the bicycle stand on its own?
It was two-tired.
What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
Nothing, it just let out a little whine.
How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it!
Why don't scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta!
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one!
Why did the math book look sad?
Because it had too many problems.
How do you organize a space party?
You planet!
Why did the boy bring a ladder to the bar?
He heard the drinks were on the house!
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
Why was the math teacher suspicious of her student?
His equations were too radical!
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
Why was the belt arrested?
For holding up a pair of pants!
Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground?
They woke up!
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman!
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because it felt crummy!
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
Sneak-ers!
Why did the scarecrow win another award?
Because he was the cream of the crop!
Why was the computer cold?
It left its Windows open!
Why do we never tell secrets on a farm?
Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beans stalk!
Why did the golfer wear two shirts?
In case he got a hole in one!
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it had the drumsticks!
What do you call a bear caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear!
Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why don’t eggs tell secrets?
Because they might crack up!
Why did the scarecrow keep getting promoted?
He was outstanding in his field!
Why did the chicken sit on an axe?
He wanted to hatchet!
Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was two-tired!
Why don't oysters donate to charity?
Because they're shellfish!
What’s the best time to go to the dentist?
Tooth-hurty!
What did the fish say when it hit the wall?
Dam!
Why did the boy eat his homework?
Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
Why do melons have weddings?
Because they cantaloupe!
How does a snowman get to work?
By icicle!
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one!
How do you make an octopus laugh?
With ten-tickles!
Why did the scarecrow keep getting promoted?
He was outstanding in his field!
Why did the golfer wear two shirts?
In case he got a hole in one!
What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
A satisfactory!
Why was the belt arrested?
For holding up a pair of pants!
How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it!
Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was two-tired!
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems!
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
Why did the boy bring a ladder to the bar?
He heard the drinks were on the house!
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because it felt crummy!
Why don't oysters donate to charity?
Because they're shellfish!
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one!
Why did the math teacher suspicious of her student?
His equations were too radical!
Why did the scarecrow win another award?
Because he was the cream of the crop!
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman!
Why was the computer cold?
It left its Windows open!
Why do melons have weddings?
Because they cantaloupe!
How does a snowman get to work?
By icicle!
Why did the chicken sit on an axe?
He wanted to hatchet!
Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was two-tired!
How do you organize a space party?
You planet!
What did the fish say when it hit the wall?
Dam!
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems!
Why did the golfer wear two shirts?
In case he got a hole in one!
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
Why did the boy bring a ladder to the bar?
He heard the drinks were on the house!
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because it felt crummy!
How do you make an octopus laugh?
With ten-tickles!
Why did the scarecrow keep getting promoted?
He was outstanding in his field!
Why don't oysters donate to charity?
Because they're shellfish!
How does a snowman get to work?
By icicle!
