Why can't you trust an atom? Because they make up everything!
How do you organize a space party? You planet!
Why did the physicist go to the beach? To work on his tan(gent).
Did you hear about the famous microbiologist? He was a real fungi.
Why are chemists excellent for solving problems? They have all the solutions.
What do you call an educated tube? A graduated cylinder.
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it!
What did the biologist wear to impress his date? Designer genes.
Why did the physicist break up with the biologist? There was no chemistry.
Why can't biologists trust cells? They have a nucleus of deceit.
Why did the DNA go to school? It wanted to improve its gene-eral knowledge.
How do you tell a male chromosome from a female chromosome? Pull down its genes!
What do physicists say to comfort each other? "It's not relative!"
What do you call an educated polymer? Macromolecular.
Why did the electron go to school? To boost its energy level.
What's a physicist's favorite part of the school? The nuclear campus.
Why do biologists look forward to casual Fridays? They're allowed to wear genes to work.
What did the stamen say to the pistil? "I like your style."
How does a neuron communicate with another? It uses cell service.
Why did the geologist go on a diet? He had too many sedimentary layers.
Why was the cell always under stress? It had too much pressure on its membrane.
What do you call a bear with no electrons? A polar bear!
How do you greet a neuron? "Cell-o!"
How did the English major define microsecond? The time it takes a microbe to write a poem.
Why don’t programmers trust atoms? Because they make up everything in the code!
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was too much friction between them.
What did the biologist wear on his first date? Designer genes.
Why was the belt arrested? It was holding up a pair of genes.
Why did the quantum particle cross the road? It was probably on the other side already.
How do you comfort a grammarian? "There, their, they're."
Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no chemistry.
What did the biologist couple name their twins? Anna and Phylaxis.
What did one ion say to another? "I've got my ion you."
What’s an astronomer’s favorite chocolate? A Mars bar.
Why did the math teacher get sunburned? He used sine block.
How do you know if Schrödinger's cat made your salad? You find it both crisp and soggy until you take a bite.
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip? To get to the same side.
Why did the chemist sit next to the musician? To get in-tune.
What did the physicist say when he wanted to fight? "Let me atom!"
How do you make a hormone? Don't pay it.
Why did the bacterium go to art school? To improve its cell-f-portrait skills.
How do astronomers organize a party? They planet.
Why was Pavlov's hair so soft? Classical conditioning.
Why was the math plant so robust? It had square roots.
Why did the physicist decline the invitation? He had too much potential.
How does DNA start its mornings? With genes and tonic.
Why do cells never get bored? Because cell-f-care is a priority.
How does an electron say goodbye? "I'm negative about this."
Why did the chemist feel safe? He was in his element.
How do geologists stay fit? They "rock" climb.
Why was the robot so bad at soccer? It kept kicking up sparks.
Why was Heisenberg such a terrible lover? When he had the time, he couldn’t find the position.
How does a physicist exercise? By pumping ion!
What do you call a reptile that studies the stars? An astro-gator!
Why did the biologist look at the microscope with only one eye? To avoid cell-f-infliction.
What do you call a spider who's good at physics? A web scientist.
How does the moon cheer up his friends? He phases them.
Why did the chemist hate the beach? Too many salts.
What do you call iron blowing in the wind? Febreeze.
Why did the computer keep freezing? It had too many tabs open.
What did the nuclear physicist have for lunch? Fission chips.
Why was the microbe feeling down? It had a virus.
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
What did the fish study in school? Algae-bra.
Why did the programmer get thrown out of school? He kept using foul language.
What did the stamen say to the pistil? I like your style.
Why did the chemist keep a journal? To keep track of reactions.
How did the DNA start its day? With a pair of genes.
What do you call a swim team made up of girls named Jennifer? Jen-etics.
Why did the physicist visit the beach? To work on the tan and cosine.
What does a subatomic duck say? Quark!
Why do biologists look at their feet? To study plant cells.
How do you organize a space rave? You planet with techno.
Why did the photon refuse to check luggage? It was traveling light.
How do you cut ocean waves? With sea-sors.
What did one wall say to the other? I'll meet you at the corner.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why did the physicist stay calm during the storm? Because he knew it was just a phase.
How does the physicist flirt? "You must be made of quarks, because you're charming."
How do you call a friendly bacterium? A fungi.
What's a physicist's favorite ride? The centrifuge.
Why did the chemistry flask go to school? To improve its reaction time.
How does an atom propose? "Will you share an electron with me?"
What do you call a snake scientist? A python-ologist.
Why was the math teacher suspicious of the ocean? It seemed too deep.
Why did the biologist carry a pencil? In case they had to draw blood.
How do you calculate a moon's mass? Moon-ipulate the data.
Why did the germ cross the microscope? To get to the other slide.
What did the biologist wear to attract his mate? A DNA helix tie.
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they're the building blocks of lies.
How do you throw a space party? You planetarium.
Why was the chemistry book filled with drama? It had too many volatile reactions.
How does an enzyme bond with its partner? It locks and keys.
Why did the biologist go broke? He couldn't cell anything.
How do you cheer up a physicist? Give them a pep quark.
Why did the gene go to jail? It was framed!
Why was the cell arrested? For suspicious activity in the nucleolus.
What's an astronomer's favorite song? "Rocket Man."
Why did the biologist stare at the microscope? To keep an "eye" on the cells.
What did the biologist name his twin daughters? Anna and Tomy.
Why did the computer feel cool? It had a lot of windows.
What do you call a sunburnt physicist? A thermal dynamic.
Why was the physicist always calm? He knew how to stay grounded.
How do you catch a squirrel? Climb up in a tree and act like a nut!
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
Why did the scientist go to the tanning salon? To get a bronze experiment.
What's the hardest part about writing a book on anti-gravity? Keeping it down.
How does the ocean say hi? It waves.
Why did the biologist get divorced? There was no culture in their relationship.
How does a scientist freshen her breath? With experi-mints.
Why was the geologist depressed? His life was in ruins.
How do you spot a geek at a beach? They have silicon under their feet.
Why was the computer stressed? Too many bytes.
Why don't scientists play hide and seek? Good luck hiding when you always want to be found.
What did the biologist order at the cafe? A cup of brew-tea-osis.
Why did the cell go to the dance alone? It splits.
Why don't fish do well in school? Because they're undersea students.
How did the chemistry lovers flirt? They shared an elemental bond.
Why was the snowman looking at the carrots? He was picking his nose.
