Why did the tofu cross the road? To prove it wasn't chicken.
How does a vegan apologize? "Lettuce be friends again."
What's a vegan's favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
How do you make a vegan chili? Make it watch "Meat the Fockers."
What's a vegan's favorite Shakespeare play? Tofu Ado About Nothing.
How do you start a vegan festival? You lettuce know.
Why don't vegans ever get lost? Because they always follow the "vegan" compass.
What do you get when you cross a vegan and a vampire? A sore neck.
What's a vegan's favorite type of math? Alge-broccoli.
How do you make a vegan smile? Show them a picture of a field of avocados.
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie (broccoli) in it.
What's a vegan's favorite board game? Monopoly, because they can't stand hotels made of "meat."
How do you make a vegan faint? Tell them they're "beeting" a dead horse.
What do you call a vegan who drives a car? An eco-vegan.
Why did the vegan bring a ladder to the gym? They heard it was the best way to reach their "pea-ks."
How do you turn a vegan into an astronaut? Launch them into space with a diet of space greens.
What's a vegan's favorite type of vacation? A "leafy" getaway.
Why did the vegan bring a ladder to the theater? To get a better "view-seed."
How do you make a vegan laugh on a Monday? Tell them a "punny" vegetable joke.
What did the vegan say to the BBQ chef? "Lettuce have a moment of silence."
Why did the vegan bring a ladder to the fruit market? To get the top-pick produce.
How do vegans party? They turnip the beet.
What's a vegan's favorite Beatles song? "Let It Be" - cause they can't eat it.
Why did the vegan break up with their herb garden? They just couldn't find thyme for a relationship.
What do you call a vegan bodybuilder? A plant-based powerhouse.
How do vegans get enough protein? They make peas with it.
What's a vegan's favorite game show? "Wheel of Fortune" because it has a lot of vowels.
Why did the vegan bring a ladder to the coffee shop? They wanted to try the high-bean coffee.
What's a vegan's favorite type of dance? The salsa, because it's full of fresh ingredients.
How do vegans stay warm in the winter? They use extra blankets of kale.
Why did the vegan go to the art gallery? To see the "veggie-tation" on display.
What's a vegan's favorite kind of sandwich? A hummus and heartwich.
Why was the vegan always calm? Because they had a zen garden of vegetables.
What's a vegan's favorite instrument? The celery.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
What do you call a vegan who used to be a butcher? A vegetable surgeon.
Why did the vegan bring a ladder to the salad bar? To get to the top-shelf greens.
What's a vegan's favorite movie genre? Mockumentaries.
Why did the vegan bring a ladder to the bakery? They heard they had some sweet potato pies.
What's a vegan's favorite part of a joke? The punchline, of course!
How do you make a vegan's day? Give them a bouquet of edible flowers.
Why did the vegan bring a ladder to the music festival? To get closer to the "beet."
How do you make a vegan laugh on a Saturday? Tell them a "corny" joke.
What did the vegan say when offered cheese? "I'm dairy sorry, but I can't."
Why don't vegans ever play hide and seek? Because they always get found in the "greens."
How do you make a vegan happy? Show them a picture of a field of avocados.
What's a vegan's favorite type of exercise? Plant-ercise.
What do you call a vegan who can't stop talking about their diet? A plant-based preacher.
How do you turn a vegan into an astronaut? Launch them into space with a diet of space greens.
How do you make a vegan smile? Give them a "veggie-tastic" meal.
