Kid Jokes

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By:
Maya Thompson
4 min read

Why did the computer take up gardening? Because it wanted to improve its root access!

What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange!

What's a cat's favorite color? Mew-sic!

Why did the jellybean go to school? Because it wanted to be a little sweeter!

How do you organize a space party? You planet!

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!

Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!

What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador!

Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!

What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud!

Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!

How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!

What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner!

Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!

What do you call a bear in the rain? A drizzly bear!

Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!

Why did the golfer bring extra pants? In case he got a hole in one!

What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!

Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!

What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!

How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it!

What do you call a fish wearing a crown? A king fish!

Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired!

Why did the cow go to outer space? It wanted to see the moooon!

What did one hat say to the other hat? You stay here, I'll go on ahead!

How do you catch a whole school of fish? With bookworms!

What did one plate say to another plate? Dinner’s on me!

What do you call a dinosaur that’s a noisy sleeper? A Tyranno-snorus!

Why did the cookie go to the nurse? Because it felt crumbly!

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!

Why did the kid bring a ladder to school? Because he wanted to go to high school!

How do you make a lemon drop? Just let it fall!

What do you call a bear with no ears? B!

What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved!

Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide!

What’s brown and sticky? A stick!

Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks!

How does a scientist freshen her breath? With experi-mints!

What do you call a fish without eyes? Fsh!

Why did the computer take up gardening? To improve its root access!

Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed!

How do you organize a cat space party? You planet, but they won’t come!

What did one snowman say to the other? Do you smell carrots?

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus!

Why don’t skeletons play music in church? They have no organs!

What do you call a bear with no socks on? Bare-foot!

What’s a ghost’s favorite fruit? Boo-berries!

Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go!

Why did Mickey Mouse become an astronaut? He wanted to visit Pluto!

What did the stamp say to the envelope? Stick with me, and we’ll go places!

What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? Arrrr!

How do you throw a space party? You planet!

Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!

What's a witch's favorite subject in school? Spelling!

Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out!

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it!

Why did the computer keep its shoes on? Because it had bad bytes!

What did the Dalmatian say after lunch? That hit the spot!

What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer? The space bar! 

I hope these jokes bring a smile to some kids' faces! Enjoy!

PUBLISHED: Oct 13, 2023
Written By
Maya Thompson
Brooklyn's own keen observer🔎 ✒️Turns city vibes and heartfelt moments into compelling prose.
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